Saturday, February 23, 2013

Recipes that Rock: How to Make Vagina Cupcakes

Okay, so I know that many of you out there are thinking: 'Omg! Why would you make those?' Well, setting aside my eccentrically loud sense of humor, I set out on this endeavor with a purpose. I was making them for my knit group's 'Fuck Valentine's Day' party/potluck.

After all, knitters love vagina! Right?

As I set out on my journey with nothing but an idea and Google, I found out that although realistic, fondant cupcakes were out of the question. I appreciate some good fondant, but I didn't have the time to get that creative with the vagina, giggety.

There weren't that many helpful tutorials, so I set out to wing in. Basically the first step was acquiring the goods to at least make a basic cupcake. Head to the market and pick up a box of cake mix for whatever flavor strikes your fancy. I used a french vanilla mix, but you can use plain vanilla and then add some red food coloring for fun. Don't forget to read the box and get the ingredients needed! Many times I have forgotten the eggs, and some mixes require baking cups. Don't forget those!

Shopping list must-haves:
Before you check out, make sure that you have gathered your decorating supplies. You will need at least 2 base colors of frosting (I used white and pink) or you can get creative with white by adding your own food coloring. In addition to your main frosting, you will need some fun supplies to add artistic touches. This can include: cake gel, sugar pearls (beads), sprinkles (especially chocolate), and fruit works great, too! Use your imagination; vaginas come in many shapes and sizes!

Cook your little cupcakes of doom to the recipe on the box and they should look something like this:

Don't have the money to buy pricey cupcake tins at the store? Here's a tip: check your local dollar store for some cheap tins that you can reuse. They aren't the best quality, but if you take care of them you can prevent rusting and voila! It's cheap!

Begin frosting your cupcakes with your base color of frosting. I used white, which was a creamy vanilla. If you cooled your cupcakes according to the instructions, they should be cool to the touch and slightly rounded at the top. Begin frosting your cupcake making sure to be as even and smooth as possible.

When all of your cupcakes have been frosted with a base, you can now add your first set of labia! This is the part of the process when your vaginas will begin to take some shape. With a small butter knife, begin frosting in a bean shape to the outline you want. I made some of my vaginas wider, and some were more narrow. Don't be afraid to really slap it on, the messier your lips, the more realistic it looks!

Once you have your two colors on your cupcake, you can begin to add glorious detail. Bedazzle your yoni cakes with edible glitter, gel frosting, or sprinkles! As you can see below, I used a combination of cake gel (with confetti in it) and sugar pearls for that "special" area of the cupcake. Ladies, you know what I'm talking about! So get creative with fruit if you wish, too! I used bananas and maraschino cherries but you can also use blueberries and strawberries (pretty much any berry). When your decorating is complete, be sure to refrigerate your vaginas, you don't want them to be melty.

Check out my vaginas:

 Oh la la!

There were a blast to make! I do not consider myself a baker, but these were easy to make. The decorating portion took the longest amount of time, so allot yourself an extra hour to be on the safe side. Maybe someday I will be brave enough to make fondant vaginas, but for now, I am content with my little twats of goodness. More so, they were a total hit at the party. But wait, there's more! You get to take hilarious photos like these and then post them on the interwebz!


Special thanks to my friends and knitter homies Kellie Carr Piet (top) and Tiffany Newman (bottom) as they were willing and ready to dive into their sugary muffs of joy.

So go forth and make your very own vagina cupcakes! Then blog it! Or better yet, send me some pics of your creations and I will blog it! :)

No vaginas were harmed during the making of this project.

1 comment:

Amy Clites said...

Every year I make vagina cupcakes for our charity production of "The Vagina Monologues" in Los Angeles. I, too, have posted a how-to on my blog at Pussies unite!